I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
Me. At least after what I've been through.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
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