HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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