I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Randomize
