Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
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