remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
Blow job season was short but glorious.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Randomize
