Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Pappa wants mamma naked
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Randomize
