i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
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