Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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