Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Hippo gnu deer
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Randomize
