Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
Are we still banned from the library?
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Randomize
