I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Randomize
