My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Randomize
