went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
