listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Randomize
