I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
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