too bad you live with your parents still
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
