just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
