We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Randomize
