He is such a slut. More and more my type.
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
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