Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
