Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Randomize
