Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
Randomize
