he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
Sober January is a disaster.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
