some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
Randomize