hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Randomize
