you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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