im drinking this country out of the recession.
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Randomize
