Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Randomize
