Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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