Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize
