im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
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