I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
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