The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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