i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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