am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
Randomize
