i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
