How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
