if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
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