Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
