The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
Randomize
