You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
I don't deserve a penis
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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