Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Randomize
