i permit you to call me
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Randomize
