We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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