I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
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