I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
