there's paper in my vomit.
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
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