My room smells like vodka and shame
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
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