I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
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