Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Randomize