Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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