I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
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