i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Randomize
