How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
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