Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
