I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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