i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
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