I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
Randomize
