grandma shit on top of the toilet
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
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