On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
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