real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Randomize
