talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
Randomize
