CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
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