You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
Randomize
