Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
