I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
Randomize
