In the future we'll all be gay
its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
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