she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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