If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
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He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
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