You made me cry and you don't even care
"it" just moved
Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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